Beach Baby!

Before I get completely carsick and yarf for reading my own writing in the back of a moving vehicle, I want to take the opportunity to tell you why this road trip to Florida has proved to me yet again why we won the baby lottery when we were blessed with Ava Leigh.

Being in the car for two days at a time can really fry a kid's marbles.

Cheeks was like, "Oh, you're gonna play Sesame Street for the seventeenth time and feed me Ritz Bits?  I am SO down with that....AGAIN!"

Not that she didn't have her moments of sequestration-induced nuttiness.

We took her to dinner every night (except for mommy/daddy date night!), sometimes around bedtime (since that's when we would be rolling into town), and she would have every nearby table flirting with her and any waitress in the joint squeezing her soft little paws and tickling her chin.  The maid from our hotel couldn't help from giving her a smooch and a snuggle as we were leaving.  All she ever had to do was sit in one spot and wave, confident in the expectation that every soul in the room will soon be in her thrall.  It still astounds me how she draws so much goodwill and affection from perfect strangers....even people who look like they've never attempted to smile in their whole life.

I dare you not to smile watching a toddler eat seaweed salad.

Aaaaand I got to hold her hand a lot.

Holding hands with a child with Downs is like holding hands with a cheribum made of marshmallow.

Her hand is still newborn-soft....

...even though now it smells more like peanut butter slobber and Cheerios instead of Johnson & Johnson's.

Oh, and this week, I decided that she somehow grew even prettier in the Florida sun.

As if that could happen.

It's already kind of a crime against nature for a kid to be this cute.

Rules of Food

MY RULES OF FOOD

by Ava "mini" Clenney, 

as interpreted by Heather Clenney

I am willing to try anything once.... As long as it doesn't appear to be gelatinous.  It doesn't matter if the food item is something the majority of children gobble with gleeful abandon (Ex: mashed potatoes, pudding, yogurt, boogers).   A good rule of thumb is: if it slides, I will yarf.

If Honey Boo Boo Dog is present during mealtime, the pattern goes: a nib for me, the rest for you.  Exception: Cheerios, soup, tofu.

Condiments go in the hair.

Small, difficult-to-pick-up foods go in the floor.

Corn goes in the air vent.

In restaurants nice enough to offer cloth napkins, be polite and coy.  Eat the most sophisticated dishes with relish and flirt with the waiter and every senior citizen in the room.  Convince Mommy and Daddy you are a sweet angel pie when taken out to eat.

Be an unrestrainable food-flinging gorilla child at Taco Bell.

When possible, chase a bottle of milk with a few raw onion slices.  Insist on being passed around the table for a round of kisses.

Blueberries = body art.

Everything tastes better with your foot suspended in the air.

Get excited about vegetables!  They get excited about you.  They tell you so.... Loudly.  And stinkily.

Chocolate cupcakes make one free of all restraints of behavior and bedtime.  WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

There must not be more than three items on a high chair tray at a time.  Rid yourself of their presence forcefully and immediately.  Failure to do so may result in the reversal of Earth's polarity.  Best to be on the safe side.

You can get a lot done with a few sharp teeth.  Just look around. We live in Arkansas.

 Enjoy food.  It gives you pleasure.  And energy.

And gas.