If by some miracle of modern science we could interpret the electrical impulses of a baby's dreaming brain via a viewable medium, the series of pictures we would be shown would probably look something like this:
Purple bear. Spinning color thingy with face. Boob. Earring. POOOOOO! Mustache. Bottle. Dog nose. Floor fuzz. Boob.
And then every once in awhile, some snake-eyed, razor-toothed creature will slither out from the cobwebbed corners of baby's rosy dreamworld and terrorize the wee thing, resulting in a seemingly random shriek that sends Mommy dashing for the crib and chihuahuas howling throughout the neighborhood.
Ava's recently begun experiencing such episodes. As tempting as it is to blame such unpleasantries upon some undigested blob of formula or intestinal gas bubbles as prolific as the opening sequence of the Lawrence Welk Show, my Mommy intuition points to fright as the cause of these ear-stabbing shrieks.
Consider this: when you're Lilliputian and the world you inhabit is adult-sized, things that appear perfectly flawless to eyes accustomed to the bigger picture can look garish to those whose world is considerably smaller. Just imagine what a grown-up's nose looks like to a four month old -- I can only speculate along the lines of a moldy, misshapen strawberry or a greasy light bulb.
While a parent can guard their child's windows to the world by limiting exposure to unsuitable entertainment and unscrupulous older cousins who like to repeat things they hear in the grade school bathroom stalls, there's no way to completely anesthetize a child from all frights. On the contrary, a medicinal dose of the boogie man can be a valuable parenting tool. I know of one wise momma whose made-up booger, "Onetha", was just the thing to keep mouths from back-talking or little hands glued to the shopping cart. As in: "If you don't quit complaining, I'm gonna drop you off at Onetha's house!", or "If you don't stay with me in the store, Onetha's gonna get you!"
Brilliant.
Why deceive your child in such a manner? you gasp. Tell your reservations to Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Mickey Mouse. You deceive your children during every major holiday anyway for your own amusement and theirs! Why not influence a kid's personal mythology as you instill a healthy fear of baby snatchers, ill-tempered pets, and dark alleyways? After all, apparently even infants have the capacity to be manipulated by their own imaginations.
Things that make her go "YIIIEEEEEEE!" are going to happen at every age, even if you are astrally projecting yourself into your baby's dreams armed with one of those seriously awesome proton packs from Ghostbusters. You might as well harness the poo-scaring power of those spooks and specters and make them work for YOU!
Good thing I'm wearing a diaper!
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