The A.M.

A morning in the life of a MiniMom

5:30 a.m.  Wake to the sound of baby's sweet coos mixed with the demented feeding alarm song.  Fling myself out of bed before my balance has caught up with my consciousness.  Sit on the floor where I land.  Regroup from there.  

5:45 a.m.  Feed half-asleep baby in between sips of robust coffee.  Coffee too strong, but baby is feeding too well in her sleep to interrupt her.  Squeeze a few drops of Enfamil Newborn Premium Formula from baby's bottle into aforementioned coffee.  Not bad.  Not bad a'tall.

6:00 a.m.  Mop up baby spit-up and give the baby a good talking to about taking her bottles too quickly.  Administer a serious snuggling so she knows I mean business.

6:30 a.m.  Change post-feeding diapers.  Diaper (singular) becomes diaperS (plural).  Just keep wiping until the job is done.  Line up full diapers like shot glasses on a cruise.  Wipe down baby.  Wipe down changing pad from collateral damage.  Pick out first of baby's five cute outfits for the day.

6:45 a.m.  Make another pot of coffee for sweet husband.  I've guzzled the first one already.  Drag bassinet containing baby into the bathroom because the result of this has begun to take effect.

7:00 a.m.  Wake husband with a kiss on his forehead.  Offer coffee.

7:00 a.m.  Apply concealer to dark undereye circles.  Apply lipstick.

7:15 a.m.  Wake husband.  Ask if he slept well last night.  Offer coffee.

7:20 a.m.  Kiss baby on the forehead. Spend five minutes attempting to remove red lipstick from her face with a baby wipe.

7:30 a.m.  Wake husband.  Threaten to drink his pot of coffee.  Relent and kiss him again when he sticks one leg out from under the quilt and makes contact with the floor.

7:45 a.m.  Iron husband's clothes after wheeling baby's bassinet to the opposite  side of the room due to an irrational fear of the hot iron flying from my hand and landing on her.

8:00 a.m.  Change baby's diaper.  Wonder again how milk becomes mustard.

8:15 a.m.  Turn the radio to the classical music station.  Assist baby with morning calisthenics.

8:30 a.m.  Remember that I should probably eat actual food before starting another pot of coffee.  Assemble oatmeal and mix a bottle simultaneously with one hand, as baby occupies the other.

 

8:45 a.m.  Feed baby while stealing bites of oatmeal between burpings.

9:00 a.m.  Wipe off remainder of lipstick on the back of my hand before kissing husband goodbye for the day.  Reapply.  Baby likes watching my big red smile.  Say a quick prayer that it won't mean she'll like clowns.