My sister Angela is pregnant.
What he, urm, she said!
I am ECSTATIC!!!! Our children will be born in the same year, which means they'll get to poke each other in the eyes and pull each other's hair without one doing more damage than the other. AND we'll both be about the same amount of crazy for the same reasons at the same time. When you're the only crazy person in the room, it's just tragic. When there are TWO crazy people in the room -- AND you're both growing bigger and hungrier by the day -- the odds are in your favor. We ARE having Frito chili pie and mushroom soup for family dinner, DANGIT.
But seriously, I'm thrilled that Ava will have a cousin close to her age. I was fortunate to have a few who I could have sleepovers with and exchange Lisa Frank stationary letters with through the mail when I was growing up. Even if I didn't see them that often, we always managed to pick up where we left off as friends without the complication of being involved with one another's cliques at school. We didn't feel the need to impress one another. And best of all, our parents didn't have to worry about whose kids we were with.
Even though Angela and I live about forty five minutes away from one another right now, we're still within close enough proximity to help one another or meet up for shopping trips. This holiday season, that's going to be valuable -- with one of us puking and the other waddling, I expect we'll be able to negotiate some pity bargains if we hit the stores together! Just kidding.
Or am I?
When it comes to bargain shopping, we are a little bit evil.
Maybe not THAT evil.
I can't help but wonder what our five-year-old niece Jazmin is going to make of all this. Her little world is going to explode with babies in 2013. That's a hurricane of change and adjustment for a five-year-old. I remember that feeling well. I was five myself and attending kindergarten when Angela arrived, all wide-eyed and blond and smelling like powder and spit up. While I'm sure that mom could tell me about all kinds of diabolical things I probably did on a daily basis in order to reestablish myself as the center of attention, the only five-year-old memory I have pertaining to that time was of being really proud that I had a baby sister. I remember having mom bring her to Mrs. Chesser's class for show-and-tell so everyone else could admire her, too. I don't remember being anything but proud and curious toward her.
But then again, as we established earlier, I am a little evil.
But Jazmin is brighter than I was. And she is very sensitive to others' feelings. And after being in her position once myself, I'll try to teach her about her Big Important Role as older cousin. As an older sister, I wish I had put more effort into being a better example for my younger siblings. It's of no credit to me that they grew up to be so un-evil. I think if I had realized that I would have a hand in guiding them, however accidentally, I would have taken more pleasure in my position as the oldest. Now that I've realized it at thirty, all I get to do is to influence them to be as cheap as I am!
Despite my past failures, I still think I'm slightly entitled to dole out a little sisterly advice in the case of pregnancy. So Ang, if you're reading this today, this is all I have the right to say:
- Keep your bellybutton clean. You never know how awkwardly intimate some old ladies get when they rub your belly.
- Don't apologize for accidentally burping, pooting or puking. Just smile. At no other time in your life will people think it's cute, so take advantage.
- When you think you're about to kill a bewildered husband or punt a pug across the room, retire to the master suite and watch The Notebook or What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Wring yourself out, then repeat. Your emotions are drenched in hormones, and you can outsmart those little boogers by rewiring them with an occasional lacrimal blowout.
- A little coffee in the morning cancels out a little cheese at night. You'll figure out what I mean soon.
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