Family With Fur: The Clenneycats

Dear Mini,

today I'd like to introduce you to two of the hairier members of the Clenney clan (I'm finally not the hairiest one in the house anymore!  WHOOP WHOOP!). 

PROFILES IN FEROCIOUSNESS

NAME:  Miss Daphne Rose Pitterpat

AGE:  Four-ish

ALIASES:  Daphne, Daph-Daph, Daphenator, Miss Vicious, The Crap Factory

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS:  Fluffy.  Fiesty.  Eighteen pounds of cat food and attitude. 

CURRENT RESIDENCE:  The tops of things.  (ex: Mommy & Daddy's bed, the bathroom sink, the countertop in front of the microwave, the lid of the baby grand piano, the back of a very surprised pug)

LIKES: Torturing bugs, NOM-ing toes in bed, drinking from the sink, rolling over to be petted and acting cute for three seconds until optimum attack position is assumed, laying on the back of the couch and watching the other sorry suckers beg for attention on the floor, and food (understatement of the year!).

DISLIKES: Pugs, Jazmin (sorry, kid), the @*#&$* vacuum cleaner; being pitched off of an unmade bed.

HOW SHE WILL LIKELY WELCOME YOU HOME:  Day 1:  Hide under the bed.  Day 2:  Hide in the bathroom sink.  Day 3:  Hide in the fireplace.  Day 4:  Begrudgingly accept another tenant in her house by accepting your spilled milk as a gift offering and a sign of subservience. 

WHAT SHE WOULD SAY IF SHE COULD TALK:  "Me me me me mine Mine MINE!"

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

NAME:  Miss Celia LeFoot

AGE:  Unidentifiably young

ALIASES:  Silly Cilly, Poor Baby (due to the her many injuries accrued in a short period of time), Sweethead

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS:  Sleek.  Slithery.  Bearing a remarkable pupillary resemblance to David Bowie.

CURRENT RESIDENCE:  The plush red cushion on the front porch swing or sometimes behind the potted Thai basil.



LIKES:  Peeking around the house from the front porch and mewing sweetly as Mommy heads up the walkway, snuggling with large dogs (DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, CAT?!), sleeping behind the rocking chair (AGAIN, MUST I ASK?!), being held like a baby across Mommy's shoulder, and delicately nibbling Armor potted meat.

DISLIKES:  Ants in the previously mentioned potted meat; when someone sits in the rocking chair and rocks.

HOW SHE WILL LIKELY WELCOME YOU HOME:  Rubbing the potted meat juice which coats her face onto your onesie. 

WHAT SHE WOULD SAY IF SHE COULD TALK:  "You smells like lumlums."  *LICK*

"A home without a cat -- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat -- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?"
- from Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain