Something about pregnancy brings out the outspoken, critical
great aunt in us all.
I’m not quite sure who issues people a license to say
eye-rollingly bold things to a couple who is pregnant (or is rumored to be),
but it must be the same office that also authorizes Facebook T.M.I. offenders
and the “friend” who likes to tell you when that same glamorous hair starts to
reappear in your facial mole.
Here is but a snippet of a few of the eloquent statements
posed to us, as well as a few from other sources:
Idiot says to Daddy:
“So, you’re having a girl! Are
you disappointed?”
What Daddy says:
“Absolutely not! I’m just
thankful that the baby is healthy!”
What Daddy should
say: “WHAT?!? A GIRL?!?!!! My wife said that she wasn’t going to find
out! She told YOU?!!!”
Idiot says:
“Wow! You’re really pregnant! How much
longer do you have to go?”
Mommy says: “Um…seven
months.”
What Mommy should say: “Oh, I’m not pregnant. I just naturally bulge.”
Idiot says: “You’ve
five months along and you haven’t decided on a name yet?”
Parent says: “We just
want to make sure we’re certain that we choose well, so we’re still exploring
all of our preferences.”
What parent should
say: “Well, between Cori-Annder Moonbeam
and Salmon Ella Clenney, we just can’t
seem to reach a compromise between the two of us. I guess we’ll just end up flipping a quarter
in the hospital!”
Idiot says to Daddy: “So,
when are you painting the nursery?”
Daddy says: “Oh, we’re
not expecting.”
Idiot says: “Oh, yes
you are. I can tell.”
Daddy says: “Um, no,
we’re not. I’d think I would be the
first to know.”
*Awkward pause*
Idiot says: “So…. Ya need
some help with that?”
Daddy says: ….nothing. He wisely walks away and tries to figure out
what just happened.
Daddy should have
said: “Sure, buddy. Let me pencil ya in for June.”
Moral of the story:
Anger or upset the emotional, hormonal, large bloated lady and her bedraggled husband.
Go ahead.
There will be YouTube footage of the carnage later.
I can totally relate! When Autumn was a newborn, I was asked, "Are they all girls?" "Yes they are." "That one too?" "Um...no, I'm not pregnant any more, she's in the car seat." They'll also do that after the baby comes, only its annoying unwanted "advice" that strangers try to push off on you.
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