(A pageant can be like a circus: when everyone does their job well, it's thrilling and glamorous. But when the lion tamer is let out the same time as the daredevil cannon guy and the monkeys, there's fur and gunpowder EVERYWHERE and that results in lots of refunds.)
I was given the perfect job for a helper-with-child -- I got the best seat in the house, was given a simple task that I was good at (after four years as a bank teller, I play a ten-key calculator like a piano), and my fellow auditor and I were the first ones to discover who the winners were since we were tallying the judges' scores. It was so gratifying to be one of the few people those girls could see in the dim ocean of an audience, and to be able to cheer each one on as they did their best to display the work and preparation they had put into their presentation.
It tickled me to watch the youngest contestants who were presented lovingly by their parents and grandparents, like their baby was a prize that they had already won. There's always a nervous fascination during the competition in these categories, because you never know who's going to spit up or squeak or blow their first kiss. I especially enjoy the age group who are discovering their bipedal abilities for the first time and attempt a kamikaze leap from the stage to the judges' table because, well, I'm sure I would want to dive into the three pretty, sparkly ladies who were cooing and smiling at me, too. Especially if I were wearing something ultra-fluffy to cushion the impact of landing.
I was well-acquainted with a handful of girls who were participating this year, and I couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in seeing how they had chosen to present themselves. To my gratification, they were each rewarded while showing themselves to be modest, elegant, and age-appropriate. Even if they'd walked away empty-handed, I still would have been as thrilled because of the way that the chose to define themselves at that point in time, when they knew all eyes would be on them.
It hurts my feelings that pageanting can be portrayed as a relic of oppressed womanhood or the domain of insane parents and fractured children. While I can't speak from the personal experience of a childhood participant, I chose to enter quite a few when I was in senior high school and I bless these experiences for what they were to me. Although I approached them with the singular intention of honing my stage presence in support of my aspirations to be an entertainer, I walked away with a much more valuable lesson: not all girls are evil. In fact, I think I connected quickly and deeply with many of the other contestants because, like me, they were struggling to get to a place within themselves where they felt no need to make any apology for wanting the affirmation that they were lovely or talented or well-spoken. The difference between these girls whom I identified with and the ones who took sadistic pleasure in casting a critical eye or comment upon us is this: the girls who appointed themselves to the Crucifying Committee had done so because it was easier than actually trying to seek opportunities to become well-rounded. The girls who chose to compete -- whether it was in pageants, sports, artistic performance, or anything that required dedication and measurable progression -- were the ones who were encouraging to one another. It didn't matter what venue they chose to press their energies toward. The important thing was that they learned to push themselves and explore their own aptitudes in order to put them to their best use in adulthood.
I strongly hope that our daughter is blessed with many of these kinds of girlfriends in her life -- the ones who dare her to bloom.
I want her to know that a truly lovely woman makes no apologies for seeking to make the most of what abilities God has given her because through her own struggles, she will learn to recognize that it's more important to lift up those who accompany her than it is to win a singular prize.
Mini & mom with Miss Arkansas 2012 Sloan Roberts & Miss Greater Jacksonville Maegan Inzer
Mini - I must say your Mom is being quite the shy one - because, she also is a Title Holder!! yup that is right, your Mom has won a few things herself! Although I am delighted that she did not have the drive to continue with career pagentry - and, the likes...after all had she done all that - where would you be right now? Probably waiting in the wings..but, instead, she and your Daddy found happiness in their little village called home - and, have created a wonderful atmosphere of fath and family...your family. I know you will be delighted to compete one day in something - just like your Daddy did with his pigs..well, that is quite different. But, it was all still great memories. And, afterall a competition, whether it be for a pig or a female - is STILL competition. And, let me tell you - your Daddy is as competitive as the BEST of the Miss. Timberlakes! So, you just pick your dream - and, know that you will be given every opportunity to see it come to light...and, one day - perhaps...I will get to watch as you walk across with a crown, leash, rod, rope, or any ole thing...just to watch and love..I hope. Love you Mini Clenney.
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